Amelia’s Magazine | Latitude Festival 2010: A Review of the Poetry, Ballet and Cabaret.

Sometimes, find Jenny Robins wears all the necklaces she owns at the same time.

She hails from a medium sized village near Brighton, help where people greet each other on the street. She studied illustration at Southampton Solent where she mostly got away with drawing what she wanted, honing a strong immediate style specialising in birds and hand-drawn text. Then she went travelling round the world for a bit, doing plenty of drawing on the way. She has been living in London for a while now.

She has done comics for Bedlam Magazine and Patchwork Comics, plenty of editorial work mostly for Amelia’s magazine, T-shirt designs for the Social Fabric at Topman and collaborative projects with small labels, posters for Fairtrade societies and sought after live drawings of bands. She makes really amazing greetings cards too.

Currently she is doing an epic project drawing every single one of her facebook friends.
www.jennyrobins.co.uk
Twitter: @jennyrobins

Sometimes, click Jenny Robins wears all the necklaces she owns at the same time.

She hails from a medium sized village near Brighton, discount where people greet each other on the street. She studied illustration at Southampton Solent where she mostly got away with drawing what she wanted, approved honing a strong immediate style specialising in birds and hand-drawn text. Then she went travelling round the world for a bit, doing plenty of drawing on the way. She has been living in London for a while now.

She has done comics for Bedlam Magazine and Patchwork Comics, plenty of editorial work mostly for Amelia’s magazine, T-shirt designs for the Social Fabric at Topman and collaborative projects with small labels, posters for Fairtrade societies and sought after live drawings of bands. She makes really amazing greetings cards too.

Currently she is doing an epic project drawing every single one of her facebook friends.
www.jennyrobins.co.uk
Twitter: @jennyrobins

Sometimes, medications Jenny Robins wears all the necklaces she owns at the same time.

She hails from a medium sized village near Brighton, case where people greet each other on the street. She studied illustration at Southampton Solent where she mostly got away with drawing what she wanted, try honing a strong immediate style specialising in birds and hand-drawn text. Then she went travelling round the world for a bit, doing plenty of drawing on the way. She has been living in London for a while now.

She has done comics for Bedlam Magazine and Patchwork Comics, plenty of editorial work mostly for Amelia’s magazine, T-shirt designs for the Social Fabric at Topman and collaborative projects with small labels, posters for Fairtrade societies and sought after live drawings of bands. She makes really amazing greetings cards too.

Currently she is doing an epic project drawing every single one of her facebook friends.
www.jennyrobins.co.uk
Twitter: @jennyrobins

Natasha-Thompson-Kissaway-Trail-Latitude-2010
The Kissaway Trail by Natasha Thompson.

The music at Latitude can feel like a bit of a byline given that there are so many other options for entertainment. But that doesn’t stop the calibre being suitably high. All photography by Amelia Gregory.

Latitude 2010-Martin Creed by Amelia Gregory
Paul-Shinn-Martin-Creed
Martin Creed by Paul Shinn.

Our first stop on Friday was a musical performance piece from Turner Prize winner Martin Creed and his merry band of sexy young things. Notably all female. I was initially sceptical – I’ve seen Bob and Roberta Smith perform at the ICA and was less than impressed by the cacophony. But this was actually entertaining, symptoms especially when Martin sang “What’s the point of it” and “If you’re lonely then this is for you” and “I don’t know what I feel, what I want” against a projection of smashing flower pots, a penis in the process of erecting and a man’s bottom. Combine this with the random movements of a ballet dancer and you pretty much had the ultimate manifestation of middle aged male angst. Brilliant.

Latitude 2010-Kissaway Trail by Amelia gregory
Latitude 2010-Kissaway Trail by Amelia gregory
Natasha-Thompson-Kissaway-Trail-Latitude-2010
The Kissaway Trail by Natasha Thompson.

The Kissaway Trail were a band I’ve not really warmed to on CD, but the live performance was a whole different deal. This unbearably cute bunch of Danish boys smashed the Word Arena with their Scandinavian take on epic indie pop. And they even have their very own version of Bez – a hyper excited braces-wearing tambourine player. A real find.

Latitude 2010-Kominas by Amelia gregory
Latitude 2010-Kominas by Amelia gregory
middle age mosh pit by Matthew Ellero
Middle Age Mosh Pit by Matthew Ellero.

Back in the Film and Music Arena US punk Muslim outfit The Kominas entertained a load of rowdy young men… and a very enthusiastic middle-aged woman, who proceeded to fend off the moshpit with the legs of a chair, before beating the youth to the free t-shirt thrown into the crowd. Thoroughly entertaining.

Abi Daker - The Villagers
Villagers by Abigail Daker.

I recently gave the Villagers’ debut album a glowing review, so I went to check out the imp-like Conor J. O’Brien and his merry band of men – of particular note was Conor’s live rendition of Pieces, his wolf howls given that much more stamina in the flesh. Conor has the air of someone heading for major success.

Andrea Peterson Empire of the Sun
Andrea Peterson Latitude Swordfish
Empire of the Sun by Andrea Peterson.

I was thoroughly miffed to have missed an early promo of the Empire of the Sun album- discovered during a clearout to have made it no further than the interns’ office: if I’d heard the album back then I would definitely have been more on the case of this fabulously over the top retro 90s pop electro… down on the Obelisk Stage lead singer Luke Steele looked resplendent in smeary facepaint and a range of over the top Samurai and Aztec/Inca influenced accessories. No expense was spared on the production of this show, which wasn’t even a headline act. The four dancers went through frequent costume changes, my favourite of which was some very cool blonde swordfish. A lot of fun.

Latitude 2010-empire of the sun
Latitude 2010-Florence crowd by Amelia gregory

I’ve always had mixed feelings about Florence and the Machine. I sort of think I don’t like her very much and then I realise I’ve been listening to her album on repeat all day. So a little conflicted then. This was the first time I’ve seen her perform live since I first met her as a bolshy unsigned artist doing a solo acoustic performance at a PPQ store party. Which doesn’t actually feel like it was that long ago. Three years?

Natasha-Thompson-Florence-and-the-Machine-Latitude-Festival-2010
Florence and The Machine by Natasha Thompson.

The curtain dropped and there she was: flowing vermillion locks, check, flowing cream dress, check, massive drum, check. Without further ado she launched into a bunch of songs that I could happily hum along to (I’ve never really been one to listen closely and learn lyrics) pausing only to sing happy birthday to her little sister Grace, who was dragged on stage with their brother – both dressed in animal costumes. It was really rather cute. Predictably You’ve Got the Love was the biggest crowd pleaser. Isn’t it funny how the 90s have crept up on us again without us even realising it? One new song got an airing, and sounded, well, typically Florence. That girl has a super powerful pair of lungs but you’ve got to wonder – does all that caterwauling ever render her speechless?
Latitude 2010-Mumford and sons by AMELIA GREGORY
Photography by Amelia Gregory.

Sunday afternoon belonged to Mumford and Sons – it was an absolutely glorious summer afternoon and it felt like the whole festival had turned out to see the current darlings of the indie folk crossover scene.

Latitude 2010-Mumford and sons by AMELIA GREGORY
Latitude 2010-Mumford and sons by AMELIA GREGORY
mumford and sons by fritha strickland
Mumford and Sons by Fritha Strickland.

I haven’t seen them live before and was massively impressed by lead singer Marcus Mumford, cost who appears to be able to play every instrument under the sun.

Latitude 2010-Kirstin Hersh by Amelia gregory

I decided to see Kirstin Hersh after a tip off from Robin Ince (in this interview) but I guess you would need to be a serious Throwing Muses fan to enjoy her particular brand of melancholic guitar grunge. She didn’t really float my boat.

Latitude 2010-rodrigo y gabriela by Amelia gregory
Rodrigo y Gabriela by Sine Skau
Rodrigo y Gabriela by Sine Skau.

I first discovered Rodrigo y Gabriela at Latitude in 2007, capsule and this year they brought they virtuoso guitar playing to the main stage. Although it dwarfed their tiny figures they more than held their own and no doubt converted a whole new batch of fans with their awesome musicianship. To watch those calloused hands up close is something else.

jonsi birgisson by jenny costello
Jónsi by Jenny Costello.

In order to miss the traffic our last stop of the day was Sigur Ros front man Jónsi, playing in the Word Arena. Once again showcasing a popular propensity for the wearing of tribal influenced regalia, Jónsi created a falsetto wall of sound that was the perfect end to a pretty damn near perfect festival. Just gorgeous.
Latitude 2010-Active Child by Amelia Gregory
Active Child. Photography by Amelia Gregory.

The falsetto sounds of Active Child were our new discovery for Saturday morning. American Pat Grossi alone on stage with just his mixer and computer, decease another lone electro maestro. Soporifically beautiful.

JAMES-LATITUDE-JENNY-GOLDSTONE
James by Jenny Goldstone.

James were our mid afternoon treat over at the Obelisk Arena – but we didn’t just sit down, we lay spark out and enjoyed a full tour through their back catalogue of hits from a horizontal position. I was somewhat surprised to note that the lead singer is now bald of bounce and goatee of beard when I am sure he used to have lots of curly locks and a clean shave – oh the perils of ageing.

Latitude 2010-kids by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-family by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-girls by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-chips by Amelia Gregory

We were surrounded by lots of families, parents obviously revelling in a favourite from their youth, whilst even the teens next to us could sing along to the band’s most famous tune. And it seems we weren’t the only ones having a relaxing time.

Latitude 2010-gaggle choir by Amelia Gregory

In the woods we encountered a bunch of singing girls in wonderful outfits. Now why don’t all choirs dress like the Gaggle? I couldn’t really hear them, but darn it, who cares when they look this good?!

faye skinner FIRST AID kit
First Aid Kit, protected by a burly security man, by Faye Skinner.

I love it when a band I’ve loved forever starts to gain widespread success, and First Aid Kit have now reached a stage where they could draw suitably impressive crowds to the wooded environs of the Sunrise Arena. If you haven’t yet seen them live, then why the hell not? You can read a previous review of their gig at the Union Chapel here.

Crystal-Castles-Latitude-2010-by-Mina-Bach
Crystal Castles by Mina Bach.

Over on the other side Crystal Castles arrived to a cascading wall of squelching beats that had the middle aged couple next to me pulling somewhat bemused faces at each other. Goodness knows what they made of Alice’s performance thereafter. Whilst slugging on a bottle of Jim Beam *rock n roll* she declared that gang bangers should “all be castrated” – the first inkling I had that all was not well at Latitude. Thereafter she was hellbent on crowdsurfing through the entire set, which mainly involved flinging herself into the rather excited male audience down front and then punching them if they grabbed her inappropriately, before being dragged back by security. Oh how the burly men in uniform love it when the singer does that. Rather inexplicably one fan insisted on giving Alice a sign featuring the word TOAST and, yup, you got it, a picture of a piece of toast. There’s been much grumbling online about Alice’s performance but I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if it did look rather like she had to yak at one point.

Latitude 2010-belle and sebastian by Amelia Gregory
sarah martin belle and sebastain by kate blandford
Sarah Martin of Belle and Sebastain by Kate Blandford.

The pace changed down a gear with the arrival of headliners Belle and Sebastian, playing their first gig in many years. First comment from those next to me? “She looks a bit mumsy.” And so what if Sarah does? Belle and Sebastian are not exactly in the first flush of youth, a fact which frontman Stuart Murdoch picked up repeatedly as he declared “they promised us an old crowd” – as usual the front was of course packed out with teenagers whilst the oldies (that seems to include me these days) hung back for a bit of air. Not that I’ve ever been a massive fan of the mosh pit. At one point Stuart threatened to take his top off (he was looking rather fit) which caused a fresh round of adolescent screaming “it would be like walking in on your dad in the shower” he laughed. It was a delightful set that featured an impromptu rendition of the Rolling Stones Jumping Jack Flash and finished with a gaggle of very happy teenagers dancing around on stage in front of the wrinkles and their orchestra. “You just made an old man very happy,” laughed Stuart in his lilting Scottish brogue, “now get off.” You show them who’s boss round here!

Read my Sunday music review here.
Latitude 2010-Active Child by Amelia Gregory
Active Child. Photography by Amelia Gregory.

The falsetto sounds of Active Child were our new discovery for Saturday morning. American Pat Grossi alone on stage with just his mixer and computer, sildenafil another lone electro maestro. Soporifically beautiful.

JAMES-LATITUDE-JENNY-GOLDSTONE
James by Jenny Goldstone.

James were our mid afternoon treat over at the Obelisk Arena – but we didn’t just sit down, help we lay spark out and enjoyed a full tour through their back catalogue of hits from a horizontal position. I was somewhat surprised to note that the lead singer is now bald of bounce and goatee of beard when I am sure he used to have lots of curly locks and a clean shave – oh the perils of ageing.

Latitude 2010-kids by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-family by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-girls by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-chips by Amelia Gregory

We were surrounded by lots of families, parents obviously revelling in a favourite from their youth, whilst even the teens next to us could sing along to the band’s most famous tune. And it seems we weren’t the only ones having a relaxing time.

Latitude 2010-gaggle choir by Amelia Gregory

In the woods we encountered a bunch of singing girls in wonderful outfits. Now why don’t all choirs dress like the Gaggle? I couldn’t really hear them, but darn it, who cares when they look this good?!

faye skinner FIRST AID kit
First Aid Kit, protected by a burly security man, by Faye Skinner.

I love it when a band I’ve loved forever starts to gain widespread success, and First Aid Kit have now reached a stage where they could draw suitably impressive crowds to the wooded environs of the Sunrise Arena. If you haven’t yet seen them live, then why the hell not? You can read a previous review of their gig at the Union Chapel here.

Crystal-Castles-Latitude-2010-by-Mina-Bach
Crystal Castles by Mina Bach.

Over on the other side Crystal Castles arrived to a cascading wall of squelching beats that had the middle aged couple next to me pulling somewhat bemused faces at each other. Goodness knows what they made of Alice’s performance thereafter. Whilst slugging on a bottle of Jim Beam *rock n roll* she declared that gang bangers should “all be castrated” – the first inkling I had that all was not well at Latitude. Thereafter she was hellbent on crowdsurfing through the entire set, which mainly involved flinging herself into the rather excited male audience down front and then punching them if they grabbed her inappropriately, before being dragged back by security. Oh how the burly men in uniform love it when the singer does that. Rather inexplicably one fan insisted on giving Alice a placard featuring the immortal word TOAST and, yup, you got it, a picture of a piece of toast. There’s been much grumbling online about Alice’s performance but I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if it did look rather like she had to yak at one point.

Latitude 2010-belle and sebastian by Amelia Gregory
sarah martin belle and sebastain by kate blandford
Sarah Martin of Belle and Sebastain by Kate Blandford.

The pace changed down a gear with the arrival of headliners Belle and Sebastian, playing their first gig in many years. First comment from those next to me? “She looks a bit mumsy.” And so what if Sarah does? Belle and Sebastian are not exactly in the first flush of youth, a fact which frontman Stuart Murdoch picked up repeatedly as he declared “they promised us an old crowd” – as usual the front was of course packed out with teenagers whilst the oldies (that seems to include me these days) hung back for a bit of air. Not that I’ve ever been a massive fan of the mosh pit. At one point Stuart threatened to take his top off (he was looking rather fit) which caused a fresh round of adolescent screaming “it would be like walking in on your dad in the shower” he laughed. It was a delightful set that featured an impromptu rendition of the Rolling Stones Jumping Jack Flash and finished with a gaggle of very happy teenagers dancing around on stage in front of the wrinkles and their orchestra. “You just made an old man very happy,” laughed Stuart in his lilting Scottish brogue, “now get off.” You show them who’s boss round here!

Read my Sunday music review here.
Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer burlesque dancer by Amelia Gregory
Photography by Amelia Gregory.

Following the Graduate Fashion Shows Coco de Mer also hit the Latitude Waterfront catwalk with a range of fun sequinned swimsuits, order little tailored jackets and hats by Victoria Grant. Inspired by a Victorian circus ringmaster, store sales of this bespoke collection will raise funds for the Circus Child charity.

Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
Coco-de-Mer-Circus-Child-by-Mina-Bach
Illustration by Mina Bach.

Andrea Peterson Latitude waterfront fashion coco de mer
Illustration by Andrea Peterson.

Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
james_clare_Coco_De_Mer
Illustration by James Clare.

Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer Circus Child by Amelia Gregory
james_clare_Coco_De_Mer
Illustration by James Clare.

The skinny Elite new faces were completely overshadowed by the fabulous wriggling coquetry of the Burlesque artist who flounced down the catwalk with a pair of huge red feathered fans and a whole lot of sassiness. Now that’s what fit and healthy girls should look like with their clothes off.

Latitude 2010-Coco de Mer burlesque dancer by Amelia Gregory
Olivia Haigh Literary luminaries
Literary Luminaries Sebastian Faulks, visit web Paul Greengrass and Richard Curtis by Olivia Haigh.

On the downside I saw less talks, clinic performance and poetry at Latitude than I would have liked, link but on the plus side festivals are a great leveller so I got to hang out with the literary glitterati in the same morning coffee queue. All photography by Amelia Gregory.

Latitude 2010-Sabrina Mahfouz by Amelia Gregory
Alexis-West-Sabrina-Mahfouz
Sabrina Mahfouz by Alexis West.

Of the spoken word that I caught in the Poetry Arena one standout was the sleek Sabrina Mahfouz, who adopts character voices to describe girls in nightclub loos and the pressure to physically conform to mens’ desires.

emma_block_latitude_alex_gwyther
Alex Gwyther by Emma Block.

Another poet that caught my ear was Alex Gwyther, a chirpy lad from Staines with a caustically observed view of male youths in the suburbs. Cheap pints, brawls, visits to the chip shop. It could only be the UK.

Latitude 2010-alex gwyther by Amelia Gregory

Most of the time I simply couldn’t be bothered to brave the huge crowds spilling out of the Literary Arena, but we did manage to catch the tail end of David Aaronovitch (I’ve looked after his kids on Forest School Camps, fact fans) talking about his new book Voodoo Histories which takes a look at “The Role of Conspiracy Theory in Shaping Modern History”. David ascertains that the paranoia of conspiracy theorists is fuelled by a desire to think that someone, anyone cares about them. During the Q&A someone made the very good point that no one bothers to uncover the “dull mundane local government” fuckups that are probably happening year in year out. No, they usually go for the biggies: 9/11 being the most recent and well known. “It tends to be a guy thing,” said David. I’ve met a few conspiracy theorists and he’s right about that. Voodoo Histories sounds like a thoroughly good read.

Latitude 2010-mark thomas by Amelia Gregory
Abi Daker - Mark Thomas
Mark Thomas by Abigail Daker.

Now, I tend to think that I have a large amount of knowledge when it comes to certain things. Like the best new indie bands, or the most talented up and coming illustrators, for instance. But when it comes to general knowledge I know shit all. Yup. Put me in your Trivial Pursuit team and watch us loose. So it was with heavy heart that I agreed to be part of a team at the Mark Thomas Community Quiz, held in the Literary Tent on Friday night. Needless to say we managed a particularly unimpressive score, but I did learn one extremely interesting fact: 23 of 29 out of our current cabinet MPs are millionaires. Oh yes, chomp on that one. It certainly got a collective gasp from the audience.

Latitude 2010-ballet black by Amelia Gregory
It’s like Where’s Wally? isn’t it?

caroline coates ballet black
Ballet Black by Caroline Coates.

The Waterfront Stage hosts an odd variety of things, but it’s limitations as a venue were highlighted by the Ballet Black performance. We watched from the far side, where our view was marred with… well… how can I put this? Too many happy shiny festival faces creating too much visual noise. It makes you realise why ballet is usually staged against a plain backdrop: so you can see the damn thing! I’m sure it was a virtuoso performance but I had to concentrate way too hard for it to be fun.

Frisky and Mannish by Amelia Gregory

Cabaret act Frisky and Mannish were another of my top tips from Robin Ince and are cut from a similar mould to the fabulous duo Bourgeois and Maurice. Against a background of plinky plunky synth they picked apart the construction of famous pop songs with brisk aplomb. Frisky has a stunning voice that brought the house down on more than one occasion, but some of the humour was lost in the speed of their approach.

Latitude 2010-duckies hostess by Amelia Gregory

On Saturday night the Cabaret tent hosted Duckie’s Masked Ball. Duckie “purveyors of progressive working class entertainment” famously hail from the Vauxhall Tavern and our hostess seemed most bemused to find herself in rural Suffolk.

Latitude 2010-hulahoop duckies by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-hulahoop duckies by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-hulahoop duckies by Amelia Gregory

We were treated to a hulahooping stripper, a rapping granny in the form of Ida Barr, (another) striptease by Ursula Martinez *oooh, were’s my red hanky gone now?* and a revolting release of blood and guts from the stuffed breast of Scotee – who most definitely pushed to the limit my definition of entertaining, but then I guess that was the idea.

Latitude 2010-ida barr by Amelia Gregory
Ida Barr.

Latitude 2010-ursula martinez by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-ursula martinez by Amelia Gregory
Ursula Martinez.

Latitude 2010-Scottee by Amelia Gregory
Scottee.

We were then all led, hushed, outside; where we gathered around a huge lit up oak tree as the heavily pregnant and magnificent Burlesque performer Lucifire stripped to her nipple tassels and cracked a firey whip across the arse of her lover. The denouement saw fellow performer Fancy Chance hoisted by her hair into the air, where she twirled like a magical geisha doll in a slowly unravelling white kimono.

Latitude 2010-lucifire by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-lucifire by Amelia Gregory
Lucifire.

Latitude 2010-fancy chance by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-fancy chance by Amelia Gregory
Fancy Chance.

Flabby men dancing in pink spandex leggings, art in the woods, knitting clubs and so much more was never fully experienced or found at Latitude. But hey, that’s the beauty of a festival – everyone’s experience will be totally different and unique.

latitude pink spandex by Amelia Gregory
latitude art in the woods by Amelia Gregory
latitude art in the woods by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-knit by Amelia Gregory
Latitude 2010-knit by Amelia Gregory

Aided and abetted by the fantastic weather Latitude 2010 was an absolute blinder – but please, organisers, limit your greed (numbers) next year, or think properly about how you’re going to accommodate us all comfortably. Oh, and what was with the lack of food options for veggies and the £8 souvenir *book* with no cheaper way to know the line-up? Sort it out.

latitude sheep by Amelia Gregory
latitude waterfront by Amelia Gregory
That’s all now folks. Phew.

Categories ,Abigail Daker, ,Alexis West, ,Ballet Black, ,Bourgeois and Maurice, ,Cabaret Arena, ,Caroline Coates, ,David Aaronovitch, ,Duckies, ,Emma Block, ,Fancy Chance, ,Frisky and Mannish, ,Latitude Festival, ,Literary Arena, ,Lucifire, ,Mark Thomas, ,Oliva Haigh, ,Ursula Martinez, ,Waterfront Stage

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Amelia’s Magazine | Bourgeois & Maurice Can’t Dance at Sadler’s Wells: An Interview

Cher Lloyd by Gemma Pharo
Wagner by Karina Yarv
Wagner by Karina Yarv.

Another year, viagra 60mg another X Factor out of the way. I went through a period of not watching any telly at all, more about and oh how I used to poo poo this show, patient but then, in 2009 I got sucked in. It was the only break I used to allow myself as I was creating my first book Amelia’s Anthology of Illustration – a bit of enjoyably vacuous pop culture on a plate. And it was then that I discovered the joy of X Factor watched with my twitter stream open. Trying to think of the bitchiest tweets as fast as possible has now become a something of a national sport, and I thoroughly recommend you do both at the same time once the whole bloody thing rolls around again next year.

X-Factor_Dannii Minogue wearing J'Aton Couture by Krister Selin
X-Factor_Dannii Minogue wearing J’Aton Couture by Krister Selin

As for the final outcome? I couldn’t stand Cher Lloyd’s sneery face but thought her final effort was at least IN TUNE, whilst even on the same note the One Direction cuties struggled (harmonies, what are they?)

Dee-Andrews-Cher-Lloyd-X-Factor1
Cher Lloyd by Dee Andrews.

I loved Rebecca Ferguson’s voice until it started to grate on my nerves, as did the fact that she could not move, even singing the danciest of songs. I quite enjoyed some of Matt Cardle’s songs, but he was clearly not on form during the last few weeks. All in all, as could be predicted, I’ve heard better singers at small indie gigs.

Matt Cardle by Karina Yarv
Matt Cardle by Karina Yarv

My fave live performance by Matt:
YouTube Preview Image

What really grabs the audience is of course the whole spectacle – the cliched dramatisations of the contestant’s back stories, the ridiculously over the top stage effects and the outrageously expensive outfits and stupendous styling choices of the judges and contestants. Here, then, is a chance to revel in the sheer glory of the X Factor experience, as seen through illustrators’ eyes.

Abi Daker Cher Lloyd
The Lovechild of Jordan, Minnie Mouse and Jimmy Saville. Illustration by Abigail Daker.

Gareth A Hopkins Cher Lloyd
Cher Lloyd by Gareth A Hopkins.

jenny robins - amelias magazine -  x factor
Illustration by Jenny Robins.

Katie Waissel by Karina Yarv
Katie Waissel by Karina Yarv

Cher Lloyd by Antaya Lendore
Cher Lloyd by Antaya Lendore

GarethAHopkins Wagbo
Wagbo (a character from Harry Hill’s TV Burp that was supposedly the love child of Wagner and Tesco Mary) by Gareth A Hopkins

X-Factor_Rebecca Ferguson wearing Lisa Marie Fernandez by Krister Selin
X-Factor_Rebecca Ferguson wearing Lisa Marie Fernandez by Krister Selin

xfactor wagner by elliott quince
Wagner by Elliott Quince.

katie waissel and rebecca ferguson by ellie sutton
Katie Waissel and Rebecca Ferguson by Ellie Sutton

Cheryl Cole by Antaya Lendore
Cheryl Cole by Antaya Lendore.
Bourgeois-And-Maurice-Antonia-Parker-
Bourgeois & Maurice by Antonia Parker.

The lovely Bourgeois and Maurice are currently on a pre Christmas run at the Lilian Baylis Studio in Sadler’s Wells, try performing their fabulous cabaret show Can’t Dance. It’s a brilliant space to showcase their unique musical/comedic talents but far from their usual setting – so I thought it the ideal opportunity to find out more about their sharply observant political views, viagra sale amazing Julian J Smith outfits and special B&M recommendations for Christmas.
Helpful note: GB is George Bourgeois and MM is Maurice Maurice.

bourgeois & maurice by sarah alfarhan
Bourgeois & Maurice by Sarah Alfarhan.

I came to your show at Sadlers Wells last week which was somewhat different to the previous intimate performance I saw at Bistrotheque. Did it take a lot of preparation to fill that big stage? Have you met many lovely ballet types? Learnt anything? But seriously… has it forced your dancing to improve, and is the audience very different to your usual crowd?

GB: Yes audiences engage with what we do very differently in a theatre space. Somewhere like Bistrotheque allows the audience to involve themselves much more, because they are literally metres from the stage, whereas here at Sadler’s there’s a much bigger distance between us and the back row and as a result you have to find new ways to involve them. Which is why I climb through the seating and why I never pick people on the end of the row – it’s too obvious. I go for the ones who think they’re safe in the middle. There is a moment in the show when we attend a Ballet boyz rehearsal – that isn’t set up – they literally called us about 30 minutes beforehand and said ‘we’re having a class upstairs, you’re welcome to join in’. When we got there we just had to copy the other dancers and hope for the best. They were all incredibly kind to us, despite our incompetence.

MM: As Bourgeois says, it is different when people are sitting in the darkness of a theatre, they definitely feel more detached from you. So that is why he gets right in there and sits amongst them for a while. It’s polite. I tend to keep my distance though. One time I ventured in and touched someone and a mislaid party popper went off. I think it was a warning for me to Keep Back. I As for the dancing, we definitely learnt some things, and I might only be speaking for myself here, but I do think our pole dancing has improved over the course of these shows, which is nice. What with the job cuts n’ that, you never know what skills might come in useful.

bourgeois & maurice genie espinosa
Bourgeois & Maurice by Genie Espinosa.

You pulled my boyfriend out of the audience to serenade… and you clamber around amongst the audience quite a lot (well, Bourgeois does) What are you looking for when you home in on your prey? And have you ever gotten a surprising response?

GB: Sorry about that! – That’s quite alright, I think he enjoyed it! – I think we’re usually on the hunt for someone who looks like they’ll have a sense of humour and not be permanently scarred by the experience, but at the same time not someone who looks like a natural show off. We’ve already got two of those on stage. We once had a guy in the audience who stood up midway through a song and started to hurl really shit homophobic abuse at us (I mean, at least make it clever). I think he assumed we were going to be a burlesque act with our tits out, or something. Security dragged him out as he shouted threats at us, so Maurice made up a ‘Bye Bye Fuck Off’ song on the spot, which the whole audience sang to him. 

MM: Ah yes, a fond memory. He was a lovely man. He said he was going to wait for us after, but sadly we never saw him again. Love is so transient sometimes. That’s the most severe reaction we;ve had I think, although that was a saturday night at Bistrotheque, which is slightly different to the normal Sadler’s Wells crowd. People don’t tend to be so vocal in the darkness of an auditorium! Surprising actually how easily people tend to go with what you ask. I’ve tried to take this method into my everyday life more, but it’s just not as persuasive without the microphones and stage lighting.

Dee-Andrews-Bourgeois-Maurice
Illustration by Dee Andrews.

You’ve spoken about the problems that come from addressing contemporary issues in your songs… some of which then rapidly date. Which song from your past would be the most out of place now and why?

GB: Probably ‘Girls in Neon’ which was one of the first songs we wrote, way back in that heady summer of ’07, when Nu Rave was still around. It was a piss-take of that moment in music-fashion history which dated almost as quickly as the scene itself. And, in fact, we were very judgmental and wrong when we wrote ‘when the neon shades fade, will the Klaxons still sing?’ because they are, and their last album was really good. So sorry about that, Klaxons.

Bourgeois & Maurice by Kellie Black
Bourgeois & Maurice by Kellie Black.

You managed to slip in some very *now* references to the student riots when I saw you… how easy is it to keep your spiel up to date on the day? 

GB: Depends what time we wake up and how long we’ve got to read the papers! At the moment we seem to be living in a blur of major news headlines so it’s easy to find references that everyone will pick up on. it’s harder when nothing much seems to be happening, it can end up being a bit ‘oh we’ve still fucked up the middle east…so…yeah…that’s still happening and stuff…hello, you look nice’ etc etc 

MM: If we were clever enough we’d invent a complicated algorithm programme that sources, digests and ranks news stories according to relevance and public awareness, which we would download directly into our heads before each show. But we tend to just log in to Twitter. 

You manage to make biting political satire amusing – have you always been politically inclined, or is this just a fallout from living in London?

GB: We used to shy away from it a lot more than we do now. A couple of years ago we wrote a song called ‘Political Song’ which actively tried to be as apathetic as possible (which in a sense is kind of a political statement but…whatever). We’ve always been political beneath the make up but only recently did we consciously decide to start being more explicit in the show. I think there’s been a noticeable shift in public thinking recently- very Us V Them – which scares me so I guess our decision to satirise the political currents is a natural reaction to that.

How did you hook up with your Julian J Smith? Are all your outfits by him? and what is the process of creating them?

GB: Julian is the crazed visual genius behind all the outfits we’re wearing at the moment. We met him about four years ago in Boombox (RIP) a few months before B&M were born. He has the largest wardrobe of incredible clothing known to mankind so when we started performing we would sometimes borrow things and as the shows got bigger, so did the outfits. Julian’s own line is an amazing synthesis of couture and clubwear and i think that’s something he brings to B&M – he designs all the looks based on ideas we’ve had for songs and he’s been to so many of our shows he can sometimes predict our sartorial needs before we can. 

MM: We’ve also had some outfits made for us by the incredible Fanny & Jessy too, although we’re not wearing any of them in this show. Their debut collection was called We Hope You Die Soon, so we kind of felt we connected on a philosophical level.

George Bourgeois by Louise Wright
George Bourgeois by Louise Wright.

I am particularly enamoured of your pastel hair ball outfit – who had the brainwave for that one? Any side effects to wearing it? I seem to recall there were bits getting caught in your mouth that you described as pubes. Are your pubes falling out as the shows progress? Will you end up bald?

GB: That outfit is the bane of my life. I adore it but JEEESUS the upkeep is hard. It’s made from hundreds of metres of artificial weave, so I have to comb it with a weave brush and pick out of the little bits of crap it sweeps off the floor each night. And yeah the hair gets everywhere. But the outfit is so good I really can’t complain. I think Julian had the brainwave for that too – we were talking about creating an outfit that would be quite body dysmorphic and have its own life when I move around the stage. As luck would have it, the weave shop round the corner from me were doing an offer on multicoloured hair so I bought the entire stock. Oh, and I live in a constant state of fear about going bald. I look shit in hats. – Love the fact you talk about your actual hair there, rather than the outfit going bald.

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Is it hard to switch off? What do you do to relax? How are your days filled when you are doing a run such as the one at Sadler’s Wells?

GB: I’m terrible at switching off when we have theatre runs. We both hate the process of being reviewed, and that really only ever happens during a bigger theatre run – critics rarely go outside their comfort zone – so as a result we tend to be highly strung til press night and then go ‘fuck it, let’s enjoy it’ after that. At the moment my days are filled with sleeping, reading and working on my best-selling novel, which at the moment is one paragraph long. My attention span is shot to pieces.

MM: It is really hard to switch off, and no matter what activities I partake in the day, ultimately I’m always thinking about the show in the evening. I made the terrible mistake of going into central London to do some Christmas shopping yesterday, and after about 10mins in Uniqlo I had a mental breakdown – Know the Feeling well! – and had to leave. So I try not to leave my house much in the day, I can’t really be held accountable for my actions otherwise.
 
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According to Run Riot you have ambitions to “go rock” next year, and you are also working on a musical…. can you give us any sneaky tips as to what this will be about, and who we can expect you to collaborate with on either of these projects?

GB: At the moment they’re both quite distant pipe dreams. The musical actually started as a joke when we were warming up before shows and would improvise a really cliched musical-theatre style opening sequence to a show set in a small town. Then it sort of stuck as an idea – we worked on a project for Theatre 503 in November, where we wrote a song for someone else to perform – the first time we’d done that – and it was really fun so the plan next year is to come up with some songs for other singers and take it from there. Maybe it’ll turn into a musical, maybe we’ll end up churning out jingles for local radio ads. Watch this space…

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Since it’s Christmas time, have you got any top B&M tips for how to get through the big day? And what will you be wearing? 

GB: We’ve both got a fetching his ‘n’ hers red sequin christmas number, which I daresay will make an appearance. Top tip: if there’s any hyperactive kids around on Christmas day, slip them a tenner in return for their Ritalin supply. Your day will float by in a golden blur, and you’ll have sorted out at least one christmas present – kids just love cold, hard cash.

You can book tickets to see Bourgeois & Maurice, performing up until the 23rd December, right here.

Categories ,Antonia Parker, ,Bistrotheque, ,Boombox, ,Bourgeois & Maurice, ,Bourgeois and Maurice, ,Christmas, ,Dee Andrews, ,Fanny & Jessy, ,Genie Espinosa, ,Julian J Smith, ,Kellie Black, ,klaxons, ,Lilian Baylis Studio, ,Louise Wright, ,Nu-rave, ,Run Riot, ,Sadler’s Wells, ,Sarah Alfarhan, ,Theatre 503, ,Uniqlo

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