Amelia’s Magazine | Ninja Turtle Sex Museum by James Unsworth: A Review

James Unsworth penis hole

I first came across James Unsworth on the walls of the Royal College of Art. His MA final show stood out like, web well, an erect penis. His work is known for erect penises, and poo, and sexual depravity in many different guises. A true modern day harbinger of the grotesque, James draws on the most bestial parts of human nature to create awesome works of art.

Last month I unexpectedly came across his work on the walls of uber trendy fashion shop Machine-A, and then by chance I stumbled across the closing throes of his first solo exhibition at the Five Hundred Dollars gallery in Vyner Street. It featured the finely detailed line drawings he is so well known for, and so much more….

Machine-A James Unsworth wallpaper
James Unsworth wallpaper in Machine-A.

Vyner Street on First Thursday is a ridiculously busy hum of art scene activity which I tend to avoid, but last week I made it along to meet some friends. “Is there anything worth seeing before I have a pint?” I asked. “Well, there’s some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fucking,” was the reply. A gigantic bell rang in the recesses of my mind… as soon as I turned in the door I instantly recognised Unsworth.

James Unsworth ninja tshirt

It’s typical of James Unsworth to create an entire exhibition out of a 1980s cartoon for children: mutated and subverted and turned completely on it’s head. On one side of a small booth at the front of the first room a glass cabinet displayed mugs for each of the turtles… shitting in mid air. I have no idea what the names of the turtle characters are since their heyday was a bit late for my childhood, but I have no doubt that many visitors to the gallery recognised them. “I have a big problem with the elitist aspect of most art galleries,” James Unsworth told Jayne Helliwell in 2007 for issue 08 of Amelia’s Magazine. “I want my work to appeal to a wider audience outside the art elite.”

James Unsworth Ninja Turtle Sex Museum2
James Unsworth Ninja Turtle Sex Museum4
Scenes from Ninja Turtle Sex Museum, the book, available for £15.

And so it made perfect sense to sell gift mugs, t-shirts in pizza boxes, stickers and art books. Within the booth was James himself, watching over the room as hoards of people wandered around, some talking loudly about how repulsive and terrible his art was. None of it, of course, phased James in the least. In an interview with Don’t Panic he claimed that “I enjoy watching people looking at my work; it’s a voyeuristic pleasure.” The greatest offence would be to pass by his work unmoved. After all, he didn’t paint a two metre high Ninja Turtle defecating beneath an erect penis in order to avoid controversy.

James Unsworth talks to guests
James Unsworth talks to gallery-goers.

It’s testimony to James Unsworth’s singular vision that the room was full at all times, with queues of people waiting their turn to poke an eye to the head of said erect penis in order to view a movie of four men dressed up in green plastic to look like turtles squirting semen-like paint all over each other and into anus like crevices as they carved at each other with fake retractable knives covered in ketchup goo. Another turtle offered up his anus as an alternative viewing platform for the film, stumpy bleeding severed legs held aloft. We wondered at the fun James and his friends must have had in the creation of this video art.

turtle power james unsworth
A still from Ninja Turtle Sex Museum: the movie.

“The Ninja Turtles just got back from Bangladesh and are waiting for the pizza to arrive, one of them finds the deadly ecstasy next to their stinking mattress in their sewer lair. You thought drugs were fun, right? But who could have imagined the horror and panic that find would bring? When they decide to take them with their beer and pizza, it all begins well, they dance. But soon they turn to fighting each other, the fighting turns quickly to lustful and murderous activity… Previously they had all wanked on the pizza too.”

The last part of this statement says it all really – James just loves to reach the epitome of grotesque bad taste, and then pile yet more on top.

James Unsworth defecating turtle
James Unsworth ninja asshole
Peering through the holes.

One wall was lined with beautifully decorated ceramic plates, severed turtle heads surround by decorative patterns of flowers and bloody carving knives. Prints lined up on a wall showed men with putrefying eyeballs kissing laughing penises, turtles in masks rimming each other, and lots and lots of wanking.

James Unsworth turtle plate
A decorative plate.

Naked ladies touched themselves in what would be an erotic manner if it weren’t for their green wrapped turtle heads with bulging cartoon eyes peering through the instantly recognisable headband, an empty box of beer worn as triumphant headgear.

Naked girl turtle head James unsworth
Naked girl turtle head James unsworth-beer

And yet, I couldn’t find any of this repulsive or even offensive. Amusing, yes. A thought provoking commentary on our obsession with violence and sex? Certainly. Alongside a sheer amazement at his dedication towards such a whole-hearted re-imagining of pop culture characters that were such a big part of his generation’s childhood.

And I wasn’t alone, for amongst the feigning of disgust there was much hilarity in the Five Hundred Gallery, and an insatiable need to keep looking. James Unsworth forces us to confront the basest elements of humanity by transferring the unthinkable onto anodyne childrens’ cartoon characters. Then making a joyful song and dance about it.

James Unsworth Ninja Turtle Sex Museum
James Unsworth Ninja Turtle Sex Museum
Scenes from Ninja Turtle Sex Museum, the book.

“Our new exhibition is about Ninja Turtles with big cocks, sex and death and it’s all free! It will be absolutely the best exhibition you have ever seen. No mistake. It’s a violent, exhibition full of taboos. It’s up to you to see it or not. Are you ready?”

Unfortunately it’s all over now. But do go check out his website, where you can buy some suitably disgusting prints. No doubt there will be some pooing Ninja Turtle mugs for sale on there some time soon.

I Am Poor, I Am Boring by James Unsworth
I Am Poor, I Am Boring by James Unsworth.

Categories ,First Thursdays, ,Five Hundred Dollars, ,James Unsworth, ,Jayne Helliwell, ,Machine-A, ,Royal College of Art, ,Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ,Vyner Street

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Amelia’s Magazine | A tribute to the talented illustrator and designer Jayne Helliwell.

Jayne Helliwell, <a target=page Amelia’s Magazine 2007″ title=”Jayne Helliwell, help Amelia’s Magazine 2007″ width=”480″ height=”360″ class=”aligncenter size-full wp-image-16288″ />
Jayne in my kitchen eating iced fairy cakes with fellow interns Jessica and Christel.

Last night I heard the horrific news that my ex intern, pill the illustrator and designer Jayne Helliwell, was crushed to death by a bus whilst cycling down Oxford Street. She was just short of 26 years old. I was asked to comment by the Evening Standard for an article that has just gone live this morning.

Jayne was an incredibly talented and extremely likeable girl who worked on issue 08 of Amelia’s Magazine in 2007. At that stage my interns were squashed together in the kitchen, and Jayne bonded well with the others, some of whom she went on to work with later (read about her collaboration with Christel Escosa on I M / / U R here). She was one of those interns who drifted in and out because she was so busy with other projects, but I didn’t mind because the quality of her work was so good. She was quick, and she could turn her hand to pretty much any creative task with ease, be it designing, illustrating, writing or picking out the best new music.

Jayne Helliwell
Jayne Helliwell
Some of Jayne’s design work in issue 08 of Amelia’s Magazine.

She was really into the idea of living sustainably and I was impressed with her devotion to veganism – Jayne often eschewed what I had cooked in favour of some tasty morsel she had concocted herself, and she, like me, insisted on cycling absolutely everywhere. I really liked working with someone who had similar ideas about ways in which we can live more lightly on the earth.

Jayne has gone on to do lots of amazing work in the creative industries. I hadn’t spoken to her in quite awhile but I was aware that she was doing well because as well as being so talented she was so prolific: it came as no surprise to find that she worked extensively with musicians, amongst many others. Jayne had a great career ahead of her and she will surely be much missed by many people. You can read another tribute here.

Jayne Helliwell

Of course, it all seems so senseless because this tragic accident could so easily have been avoided. Why are our streets so unsafe? We are (rightly) encouraged to cycle more, and we are. There are now many more people on bikes than when I first hit the roads with two wheels nearly ten years ago. Cycling a bike has immeasurably improved my life, and yet many people I know refuse to cycle because it has become so dangerous. I’ve known three people to have been killed in bike accidents, including a Greenpeace climber that I met when we were both arrested at the Kingsnorth Climate Camp in 2008. We got on really well, swapped numbers and arranged to meet up – a month later she was dead. When are the roads going to be made safer? What does it take? How many people have to die?

I’ve cycled down Oxford Street several times in recent weeks, and every time I’ve thought “this is a death trap” – it’s a nightmare obstacle course for every kind of moving object, a collision waiting to happen. Add to this the nonchalant attitude of bus drivers – who frequently ignore cyclists and push us right into the curb – and you’ve got an extremely dangerous situation. Much has been done to educate heavy goods vehicles for the need to stay away from cyclists, but the same cannot be said for buses, with whom we share the same lane on the road. It’s utter madness.

Jayne Helliwell eating lunch with the other interns
Jayne eating lunch with the other interns.

I really really hope that Jayne’s death will not have been in vain: we need dedicated lanes for cyclists on all the major roads in London, and we need them now. Not at some spurious point in the future. Who is going to make it happen?

On my website Jayne’s contributor’s blurb lives on, but it’s worth transcribing it here. It was written by Jessica Watkins, who was an intern at the same time. I think it just about sums her up: Jayne was a laugh and so much more.

Jayne Helliwell is a little gem to work with. The first time I saw her, she came pacing across the paving stones towards me, wearing a checked shirt to her knees and pushing a Raleigh Cameo speed bike. Jayne later informed me that it was the same bicycle her mum carried her around on when she was just a miniature girl. My initial, judgemental impression of her was that she was ever-so-cool, and ever-so-small. I wasn’t sure she would want to be my friend, but now we spend our days making each other chamomile teas in Amelia’s kitchen and laughing about elephants in the room. I suppose you have to be there. When she grows up, Jayne fancies being a draw-er, or perhaps an Olympic athlete? For now though, she works at Amelia’s Magazine, looking important on her Apple Mac Power Book. Her likes include cake, and eating cake, but only if it is vegan. Today she sampled Amelia’s mushy pea dahl, and decided that should be on her list of likes also. Jayne has great taste in music, which comes in handy when reviewing albums for the magazine, and when I feel like hearing a new band. She has so far introduced me to everything from Serge Gainsbourg to Tilly and the Wall. We’re ever so trendy here at Amelia’s. One more thing you might need to know about Jayne is that she has the most infectious laugh in the world.”

Categories ,Amelia’s Magazine, ,bike, ,cupcakes, ,Evening Standard, ,I M / / U R, ,illustration, ,Jayne Helliwell, ,Oxford Street, ,sustainability, ,vegan

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Amelia’s Magazine | A tribute to the talented illustrator and designer Jayne Helliwell.

Jayne Helliwell, <a target=page Amelia’s Magazine 2007″ title=”Jayne Helliwell, help Amelia’s Magazine 2007″ width=”480″ height=”360″ class=”aligncenter size-full wp-image-16288″ />
Jayne in my kitchen eating iced fairy cakes with fellow interns Jessica and Christel.

Last night I heard the horrific news that my ex intern, pill the illustrator and designer Jayne Helliwell, was crushed to death by a bus whilst cycling down Oxford Street. She was just short of 26 years old. I was asked to comment by the Evening Standard for an article that has just gone live this morning.

Jayne was an incredibly talented and extremely likeable girl who worked on issue 08 of Amelia’s Magazine in 2007. At that stage my interns were squashed together in the kitchen, and Jayne bonded well with the others, some of whom she went on to work with later (read about her collaboration with Christel Escosa on I M / / U R here). She was one of those interns who drifted in and out because she was so busy with other projects, but I didn’t mind because the quality of her work was so good. She was quick, and she could turn her hand to pretty much any creative task with ease, be it designing, illustrating, writing or picking out the best new music.

Jayne Helliwell
Jayne Helliwell
Some of Jayne’s design work in issue 08 of Amelia’s Magazine.

She was really into the idea of living sustainably and I was impressed with her devotion to veganism – Jayne often eschewed what I had cooked in favour of some tasty morsel she had concocted herself, and she, like me, insisted on cycling absolutely everywhere. I really liked working with someone who had similar ideas about ways in which we can live more lightly on the earth.

Jayne has gone on to do lots of amazing work in the creative industries. I hadn’t spoken to her in quite awhile but I was aware that she was doing well because as well as being so talented she was so prolific: it came as no surprise to find that she worked extensively with musicians, amongst many others. Jayne had a great career ahead of her and she will surely be much missed by many people. You can read another tribute here.

Jayne Helliwell

Of course, it all seems so senseless because this tragic accident could so easily have been avoided. Why are our streets so unsafe? We are (rightly) encouraged to cycle more, and we are. There are now many more people on bikes than when I first hit the roads with two wheels nearly ten years ago. Cycling a bike has immeasurably improved my life, and yet many people I know refuse to cycle because it has become so dangerous. I’ve known three people to have been killed in bike accidents, including a Greenpeace climber that I met when we were both arrested at the Kingsnorth Climate Camp in 2008. We got on really well, swapped numbers and arranged to meet up – a month later she was dead. When are the roads going to be made safer? What does it take? How many people have to die?

I’ve cycled down Oxford Street several times in recent weeks, and every time I’ve thought “this is a death trap” – it’s a nightmare obstacle course for every kind of moving object, a collision waiting to happen. Add to this the nonchalant attitude of bus drivers – who frequently ignore cyclists and push us right into the curb – and you’ve got an extremely dangerous situation. Much has been done to educate heavy goods vehicles for the need to stay away from cyclists, but the same cannot be said for buses, with whom we share the same lane on the road. It’s utter madness.

Jayne Helliwell eating lunch with the other interns
Jayne eating lunch with the other interns.

I really really hope that Jayne’s death will not have been in vain: we need dedicated lanes for cyclists on all the major roads in London, and we need them now. Not at some spurious point in the future. Who is going to make it happen?

On my website Jayne’s contributor’s blurb lives on, but it’s worth transcribing it here. It was written by Jessica Watkins, who was an intern at the same time. I think it just about sums her up: Jayne was a laugh and so much more.

Jayne Helliwell is a little gem to work with. The first time I saw her, she came pacing across the paving stones towards me, wearing a checked shirt to her knees and pushing a Raleigh Cameo speed bike. Jayne later informed me that it was the same bicycle her mum carried her around on when she was just a miniature girl. My initial, judgemental impression of her was that she was ever-so-cool, and ever-so-small. I wasn’t sure she would want to be my friend, but now we spend our days making each other chamomile teas in Amelia’s kitchen and laughing about elephants in the room. I suppose you have to be there. When she grows up, Jayne fancies being a draw-er, or perhaps an Olympic athlete? For now though, she works at Amelia’s Magazine, looking important on her Apple Mac Power Book. Her likes include cake, and eating cake, but only if it is vegan. Today she sampled Amelia’s mushy pea dahl, and decided that should be on her list of likes also. Jayne has great taste in music, which comes in handy when reviewing albums for the magazine, and when I feel like hearing a new band. She has so far introduced me to everything from Serge Gainsbourg to Tilly and the Wall. We’re ever so trendy here at Amelia’s. One more thing you might need to know about Jayne is that she has the most infectious laugh in the world.”

Categories ,Amelia’s Magazine, ,bike, ,cupcakes, ,Evening Standard, ,I M / / U R, ,illustration, ,Jayne Helliwell, ,Oxford Street, ,sustainability, ,vegan

Similar Posts: